How to get unstuck & pursue your dreams

Get-Unstuck Dear Shi,

I’ve had this dream of pursuing a public speaking business for a while now, but every time I tell myself to go for it, I feel stuck. I’m overwhelmed with knowing if this is what I really want. How do I find the motivation and the clarity to get started?

Sincerely, Tori


Dear Tori,

Congratulations on reaching out to take steps toward turning your dreams into reality! I believe that you (and everyone of us) has a powerful message to share and a beautiful story to tell. It’s common to get stuck and run into resistance whenever we commit to going after our God-given destiny. During these times, it’s essential to know why we are stuck, and of course, how to get unstuck.

Let’s get started by identifying what you want. You mentioned you’re pursuing a public speaking business. I’m assuming you want it to be successful (in your own terms), purposeful (to serve a reason bigger than yourself), and profitable (because money in the bank is a good thing). That’s awesome!

Now, let’s be real and talk about what’s getting in your way.

When you imagine yourself running a successful speaking business…. Why do you currently not have it? These are your obstacles. What are some fears you have? These are your limiting beliefs. What do you have to give up to succeed? These are your costs.

Creating the change we desire in our lives requires us to overcome obstacles, adopt empowering beliefs, and count the costs of pursuing our dreams. We may decide that it’s not worth it. We get stuck whenever we don’t like where we are, but don’t know how to make it different. That’s when it helps to clarify our vision and pursue some possibilities.

Take a moment again and picture yourself owning your business. This time... Why is this dream so important to you? This is your compelling reason. What are the benefits when you succeed? These are your rewards. When you are successful, how does that change your life and those around you? This is your impact.

Often when we feel stuck, it helps to connect to our bigger “WHY” to pull us towards creating change. We all desire to work for something bigger than ourselves, and take ownership of our progress.

In this moment, which one has bigger consequences? Staying the same or pursuing change?

Change happens when the cost of staying the same is greater than the cost of going after what we want.

In other words, nothing will happen until we realize that staying the same will cost us more than going after our goals. That’s when we hit the “point of no return." The funny thing is, once we know what’s at stake and are fully committed, we find creative solutions to the things that once held us back and become unstoppable.


Change is hard, and the struggle is real! Here are 3 tips to help you with your on-going process.

1. Get in community. Get a mentor, talk to peers, hire a coach, communicate with your spouse and family, and collaborate with others. Fears and obstacles seem much bigger to us, but gaining outside perspective can help us see our situation more clearly…and make it more fun!

2. Turn beliefs from limiting to empowering. Beliefs shape how we see and interact with the world, so challenge the thoughts that keep you from making progress. It helps to say them out loud to bring them to light, then replace them with a more empowering one. One of my favorite empowering belief is from Marie Forleo, “Everything is Figure-outable.”

3. Start small and experiment! Value feedback over failure. Test out an idea with something simple, and with people who love you. If it flops, don’t see it as a failure. It took courage just to try! Instead, ask yourself: What went well? What could be even better if I did it again?

Tori, I hope this helped you find the clarity and motivation to get started with your business (if that’s what you truly want). It’s my pleasure to guide you during your career transition, and remember: you already have what it takes to succeed.

Blessings, shi-signature


PS: What are some tips that help you get unstuck?  When do you know it's time to commit and pursue the next thing?  Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!